You're Fired!

One thing I always loved about cartoons was the trap door. Sometimes in life we desperately need a trap door to feed some fool to a pool of hungry sharks. Like whoever had this idea:

Its Pizza Hut's FISH KING pizza. It features as its main attraction eight fish sticks arranged tantalizingly around the pie. BUT WAIT! There's more than just fish sticks here, the part you can't really read goes on to list the other bits of deliciousness awaiting you: crabsticks and cool, lime mayo. How can you resist?!?

I wonder how that pitch meeting went. What other horrid ideas had to be laid on the table that made a fish stick pizza look like a good bet? How about a large pizza with six human hairs baked into the cheese? Or maybe a horse-lovers pizza made with various horse meat parts!

Which brings up an interesting story. Recently we were talking with some neighbors about a Louisville Cardinal shirt we gave their son. We explained the cardinal was the school's mascot since the cardinal is our state bird in Kentucky. So they asked the obvious question: Can you eat this bird, the cardinal?

We just sat there dumbstruck. Why would a person want to eat a cardinal?!? Finally we managed a weak, "Uh, no. You can't eat them." "Why?" they pressed. "Because its a cardinal and not a duck or a chicken," we wanted to say. Instead the best answer we could come up with was, "I think its illegal to kill one since its the state bird." And that made total sense to them.

Which brings me back to the trap door. Sometimes in life we just need to make a person disappear immediately, without discussion. Sometimes people put forth an idea like fish stick pizza or eating a cardinal and they only response we should give is to make them disappear and then ask the ones remaining, "Any other ideas?"

*Special thanks to Tim Hurst for the great cardinal picture!