One thing I tried to teach Ann during our time with us was how to eat a sandwich. She had some odd sandwich habits like cutting them crossways instead of top to bottom and she refused to eat the "ends" (which we explained were called "heels"). But her biggest sandwich flaw was that she would make these huge Dagwood-style things that were nearly impossible to eat.
Repeatedly I tried to tell her if she was to ever get married, she needed to eat smaller sandwiches. I mean, seriously, what man wants to marry a girl who eats bigger sandwiches than he does?
Now, of course, as a teenager she knows better than old people and she would consistently say my sandwiches were a bit girlie and cut like someone would be eating them at a Mary Kay party. But as a married person, I know what it takes to find a spouse and a bunch of mustard in the corner of your mouth is usually not high on the list.
So that is how this particular undressed hamburger got to be quartered and then devoured with some chili sauce (which did not end up all over my face). And how I thought of Ann and was reminded again how short a time we have with our little people. Now she's off at college and she is probably in the cafeteria eating humongous sandwiches with a table full of girls and wondering why there aren't any guys joining them.So, Ann, one last piece of advice. Take a butter knife with you to the table. It could just change everything...
7 comments:
I guess the only thing that I can say as a primary influencer, it is good to see that her mother and I influencer her equally. Carla rarely eats the "end pieces" (which we called "heels" when I was growing up) (of course the parsimonious person in the house comes along and eats them), and I make a sandwich like it is the last meal that I will ever have.
I do have to question your advice about the size of a person's sandwich having a direct correlation to finding a mate. You have to be able to dislocate your jaw to get my sandwiches in your mouth, and look what a FINE catch I made. The proof is in the results.
Of course Carla would dig a big-man-sandwich eater like you. Shows your ability to provide well. Its probably an evolutionary thing. Big sandwich eating women, though, tend to be ... uh ... a different story ... uh ... to SOME people.
So, Mr. Married Person, is it okay to eat huge sandwiches after getting married, since you have already found your mate?
The MAN can eat big anytime, its OK. The woman generally waits until some time into the relationship before she stops eating half a salad. I'm not saying its right ... I'm saying its a rite. ;-)
Are you suggesting that it is a part of the created order that the male eat big? I suppose that makes sense considering that we have to hunt, forage, plant and harvest. And now days we should wash the dishes afterward. At least that is what I am told.
Anyone knows you cut the sandwich on the diagonal. That way, you can daintily put the corner in your mouth and not get mustard/mayo all over your face. Someone I know does not cut the sandwich at all - that's the REALLY manly way! By the way, when you reach real maturity, you like the heel, folded in half, full of peanut butter!
Go Belinda I agree w/you! I love the ends of the loaf!
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