Monkeys are DANGEROUS (and Cute)

Not too long ago we stayed at a hotel and this sticker was on our balcony door. A few days later we saw why ... coming back from the pool we saw some monkeys attacking a hotel maid's cart and they stole a bunch of sugar packets and ran off while the maids screamed at them.

It wasn't this kind of monkey. This monkey is a sweet, flower-eating monkey.
This sweet, leaf-eating monkey is called a Dusky leaf-monkey. The rascal kind of monkey is the one below. They steal eggs, sugar packets, soft drinks, and other junk if you are not careful. Local folks look at them like many people would look at a raccoon. How cute they are depending on whether or not they are stealing your stuff or not.
It was this kind of monkey, a Long-tailed-macaque that came after us at the zoo one time. We were just walking along, trying to finish our zoo day when we came upon a troop of them raiding some trash cans. Our party was divided: Do we go way back around or Do we just walk coolly through?

Our friend decided to try to push on. Their alpha male decided we shouldn't. Wow! A stand-off! We waited and watched, too tense to take any pictures of the ensuing chaos.
Not it was a Proboscis Monkey like this. But a macaque like the one above. Well, this monkey has chosen the wrong dude. We had us a good 'ole fashioned Barren County alpha male competition (between an Asian dude and a monkey)! The monkey made the first mistake when he lunged but didn't attack! You know like a middle school kid will do.

It certainly wasn't an orangutan. They are friendly and not living in trees near the zoo. So, anyway, the story ...

Any good guy from Park City knows if you're gonna jump, you better land on the dude. This monkey lunged but didn't commit. My friend held his ground. The monkey lunged again! This time our friend had enough, he went crazy and kicked the trash can they were raiding. Then he grabbed the can lid and threw it at the monkey. It reminded me of being back at Fairdale!
Listen, it wasn't a white-handed gibbon. Focus! It was a macaque. And when that trash can lid went flying, so did that troop of monkeys. What a bunch of losers!! **Spoken by the guy who wanted to turn back and go around the long way.**

So remember, if you see a macaque trailing you to your car or eyeing your trash can. There are some things you can do. First, avoid eye contact. Second, back away if you can. Third, if you are determined to go forward, just start going ballistic and throw a trash can lid like you haven't ever been out of Temple Hill. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to take him. Special note, if you are from Tompkinsville, just go ahead and bite him. He is much more likely to get rabies from you than you are from him.

Special note to people from "Town" (i.e. T-ville), Temple Hill, or Park City. I'm just kidding. Please don't kill me. If you are from Fairdale or you are a middle school kid, you know its true...