Hudson's Graduation

We finally had our kindergarten graduation this evening. Here is our up-and-coming first grader receiving his diploma. Please hold all your applause til the end.

Our resident teacher, lunchroom lady, aide, vice-principal, and one of the parents with our entire third grade.
After a rousing speech by the teacher and a rather boring monologue from the principal, there was a reading by the Kindergartners ... but no photos were allowed. The event was capped with special IKEA-style cupcakes (decorate-it-yourself refreshments).
Special entertainment was provided by Spongebob Squarepants.
And Bethany had a hard time keeping the chocolate off stuff! But that is how delicious treats are to be enjoyed!

A Few Beach Pictures

The kids went out and found a bunch of sand dollars. Dad had to say that he had never before found a sand dollar, except maybe at a shop in Daytona Beach. Then he found all these in just a few minutes. As part of the catch and leave them where they were, they remained on the beach.

Guess it could lead to some interesting discussions about Intelligent Design. Find a design and postulate a Designer. Well, maybe only if Craig and Todd were on the beach.

Some random people pictrues

Take That Kobe

I know some people may be excited about the NBA Championships, even though everyone knows they are as fake as wrestling (sorry Pastor Randy). Lakers and Celtics? As scripted as one of my Granny's "programs".

Around here people could care less about the NBA because we have women's beach volleyball featuring my wife! She declined to play in the sharp-shooter dart competition claiming she had once hit (darted?) someone in the neck. She limped through the apple-eating competition but she went all out at volleyball, even hitting the dirt trying to return one.

This is what she was calling "the hammer" a.k.a. her serve! Serious power.
Notice how different the women here dress for beach volleyball than what you might see on ESPN2 or some other cut rate sports network.
In the end it went three games. A nail-biter! Believe it or not Angie woke the next morning trying to figure out why her arms hurt so bad...

You're Fired, Too!

One interesting thing multi-national companies do is to think glocally. You know, they are global companies but make local adjustments for local tastes. Its why Pizza Hut has a fish stick pizza and why you can get rice at McDonald's in Indonesia or a cabbage (not apple) pie in Russia. It makes sense because tastes vary. If you asked for mayo for your fries in Frankfort, KY they'd think you were crazy. Ask for them with ketchup in Frankfurt, Germany and they'll know you're American.

So in some cases I can get it. People here in SE Asia like different things. So when we found Pringles in various flavors, it seemed weird to us but understandable.

Seaweed flavor? Why not Auntie Ann's has a seaweed pretzel. Crab flavor? Well, people sell crab by the side of the road here like its silver queen corn.
Shrimp flavored? Of course, everyone here loves prawn crackers with their fried rice.
Some things are just weird, though. Lemon and sesame? That is odd enough that it might need to be tasted. But the employee who dreamed up this one needs to be let go:
Blueberry and hazelnut? What does that even mean? I can't think of anywhere that idea would seem like a good one. Probably the whole division responsible for "Fruit and Nut" chips needs to be made redundant as people here like to say.

**Special note: One day we found Jalapeno Pringles and I personally believe that person deserves a Nobel Prize!! Not too often we see those kinds of treats roll in from America. "What?" you ask. How did we know they were from America? Because the can had English and Spanish on it, thats how!

Not the Best Beach Ever

When you get to a seaside resort the first thing you want to do is go and see the beach and the beauty of the ocean beyond. Well, when we got to the beach last week we were greeted with a locked gate and this sign:

Of course the impact is greater if you can actually read the sign, so I'll help. It says something like* "Its forbidden to swim or walk in the beach area, beach is oily." One guy told me it was actually a vegetable oil spill but he was dead wrong. The beach smelled worse than a truck stop. It was oilier smelling than the "men's room" at a truck and tractor pull.

The next day while the tide was out, we did go out and walk a bit and saw this kind of stuff.
From a distance I thought it was a bunch of beer bottles washed ashore but they were mostly plastic bottles covered in oil. We've been a few places, especially mangrove swamps, that are just full of trash. For some reason lots of people still believe rivers and the sea clean themselves. I guess its because you throw your trash in the sea and the tide takes it away. What they don't see is the tide washing it back on land a few miles up the coast for their neighbors to deal with.

Now obviously this is not just an Asian problem. Heaven only knows how many beer bottles will be sunk to the bottom of US lakes by fishermen and skiers this weekend alone. But it feels a lot different when you see it all lined up at where the tide left it.
Sort of remind me of this from when I was a kid:

*A helpful note regarding translation or other things that require approximation: Say "it goes a little something like this" and then if anyone says you are wrong you can always fall back and reply, "I said it was something like that. Not exactly that. Lighten up!" Also that phrase is good if you are a Beastie Boy.

What is he eating??

Well, of course, he is eating scoops of ice cream on a hot dog bun. I think its ingenious that people here have discovered a way to take ice cream with them. No need for a bowl and spoon. Its like a bread bowl!! When the ice cream is done, you eat the bun!! Or throw it on the ground as "bird food" or something.

Until someone comes up with another way to transport scooped ice cream (preferably an edible container to help preserve the environment) we will just all have to get along with this tremendous idea.

For Sharon...

The family on Sunday in our 2009 shirts. Dress code was green 2010 shirts for Saturday and last years orange for Sunday. Glad we didn't throw out the old ones like we wanted...

The apple eating contest. Angie was going for last ... and made it. We noticed most of the games they like to play were banned while we were kids in the USA. Musical chairs where one adults snatches a seat out from under someone and they fall and everyone laughs. Who can eat an apple the fastest (without choking). Who can hold their breath the longest (without drowning), etc.
Lifeguard duty. Do you choose to sit in the blazing sun or under the umbrella that is holding in all the heat?? Decisions, decisions.
Looking awesome for the pre-trip group photo.
Can you find the white folks?!?

Women huddled in the shade.
This is a 2009 shot since we never got a picture of Craig in his green one.
Another 2009 shot.
The end!

What a Cool Nickname!

When we got to the beach on Saturday for our Family Trip with some neighbors, the first thing the kids found was this awesome sliding board with a really cool nickname! In order to make the slide more exciting they spray painted on its side: BROKEN DANGER

It was like all those signs when you go to ride The Beast or Tower of Terror some such roller coaster. They all have signs that say: Go Back! Do Not Enter! eware!! and the B is all bitten off or whatever.

Well, we thought it was a cool advertising slogan or something but ... how can you know? Lesser parents might have said, "Oh, honey it clearly says, 'Danger Broken' so stay away." But not us! We know the only way to know if its broken is to try it for ourselves!

We elected Hudson for the first attempt. When it turned out well, we decided the only way to know for sure was if we pushed it a bit. So we recruited a few more kids and threw them all on it at once.
Turns out the thing is neither BROKEN nor DANGEROUS. Its just a slide and its all for the best anyway. What if someone got hurt? You can hardly sue if they painted a warning right on the side, you know!?!

Now Intestine Free!

For lunch today we tried these new smoked sausages we found. After buying them we saw the main selling point: Tiada Usus!

Now in the middle the thing says "skinless" but as you can see from an internet dictionary, "usus" doesn't mean "skin" it means "intestines".
I'm no fool and since I have watched River Cottage more than a few times, I know real sausages come from grinding up an animal's meat and then feeding the meat back into its own intestines and smoking the package. But these tasty treats were delightfully free of intestines.

Its got me thinking about how many things should be sold with that tag: Now With No Intestines! Popsicles, soda pops, pizza. No ... wait ... can't use pizza, can you? Not a Meat Lovers anyway. Oh well, guess I need to give it a bit more thought.

The Finale

One great thing about homeschool is that you can take time off for important events. Important events like the American Idol finale. Its a fun time to sit and listen to how my children haven't been impacted by US culture.

We have Nick, Disney, and E! and we get a lot of US movies but its still not uncommon to hear my kids say, "I don't know who that is." Pop culture moves so fast that after almost 3 years outside America we have almost no idea who most famous people are nowadays.

One perk during the American Idol finale is they bring back old artists like Hall and Oates so Mom and Dad at least know something. Plus, we get the added benefit of saying, "Wow, they are old-looking!" I guess its better than becoming odd-looking but then again they did have the Alice Cooper black-eyed youth choir...

You're Fired!

One thing I always loved about cartoons was the trap door. Sometimes in life we desperately need a trap door to feed some fool to a pool of hungry sharks. Like whoever had this idea:

Its Pizza Hut's FISH KING pizza. It features as its main attraction eight fish sticks arranged tantalizingly around the pie. BUT WAIT! There's more than just fish sticks here, the part you can't really read goes on to list the other bits of deliciousness awaiting you: crabsticks and cool, lime mayo. How can you resist?!?

I wonder how that pitch meeting went. What other horrid ideas had to be laid on the table that made a fish stick pizza look like a good bet? How about a large pizza with six human hairs baked into the cheese? Or maybe a horse-lovers pizza made with various horse meat parts!

Which brings up an interesting story. Recently we were talking with some neighbors about a Louisville Cardinal shirt we gave their son. We explained the cardinal was the school's mascot since the cardinal is our state bird in Kentucky. So they asked the obvious question: Can you eat this bird, the cardinal?

We just sat there dumbstruck. Why would a person want to eat a cardinal?!? Finally we managed a weak, "Uh, no. You can't eat them." "Why?" they pressed. "Because its a cardinal and not a duck or a chicken," we wanted to say. Instead the best answer we could come up with was, "I think its illegal to kill one since its the state bird." And that made total sense to them.

Which brings me back to the trap door. Sometimes in life we just need to make a person disappear immediately, without discussion. Sometimes people put forth an idea like fish stick pizza or eating a cardinal and they only response we should give is to make them disappear and then ask the ones remaining, "Any other ideas?"

*Special thanks to Tim Hurst for the great cardinal picture!

Ronald is out to get Caleb

Mother's Day '10

The celebration started early for Angie with breakfast in bed, expertly prepared by our crack staff!

Some eggs and toast with a nice note and some sweet tea.
The kids brought up the iPod, too, for some Michael Buble mood music. A nice way to start the day.
Every day we should make Mom feel special. Most days we don't!
In the afternoon we got a Starbucks chocolate cream chip frappucino for her and then a mani-pedi. Later we got some tasty naan and curry while she opened up her presents (which is weird in SE Asia, normally presents are not opened in front of the giver).


So there you have it. We know we should've done better for Moms and Grandmas in the States. We'll try to do better when we are in person next year!!

Yeah, that is what I thought you said

Hallmark cards have nothing on the romance of t-shirts in Asia. They are so full of love and incomprehensibility. You can say anything you want and slap two teddy bears and a heart. BAM! Romance!

I have seriously considered bringing back shirts like this for every Christmas gift for family members but assume no one will wear them. You need to be a pretty cool teenager to wear something like this. Some of the dumber kids will think you didn't know it wasn't an Ambercrombie shirt and will make fun of you. That is simply because they aren't cool enough to wear something no one else can imitate.

I do know a few cool people (i.e. Brian Pickerel) who can wear cool stuff and make it look awesome. How few there are, though, who can carry it off. I guess my cottage industry making fun of Asian English will have to wait a few more years. Until then I can only imagine Old Navy ripping off my idea and intentionally trying to produce shirts like this one.

Speaking of fruit

You know your fruit is pretty ripe when you open it up and find baby trees! For those of you who have never cut up your own papaya this is what it looks like inside. Maybe most closely resembles a cantaloupe in its consistency and how it gets cleaned.

But never did I open a cantaloupe to find budding seeds. I thought of just taking the papaya half and planting the whole thing, seeds and all, to start my own orchard but decided it was too hot!
This is nothing compared to friends who say they have cracked an egg only to have a baby bird fall out. That is ripe!

Lets Hear it for Genetically Modified Food!

Sure there can be some problems with modifying genes (i.e. three-eyed fish). But when you can make a chicken lay 3 eggs or a cow give gallons of extra milk, how can it be bad??

And an even better example:

If you can grow a mango the size a of man's hand, I'm not too concerned about what laws of nature had to bend to make it possible. If you can sell it super cheap on top, I'll buy with my eyes closed! YUMMY! Plus, I'm thinking if we can inject enough preservatives, I'll never need to be embalmed.

French (Fry) Toast

Doesn't this look tempting? A basket of two curry puffs and french (fry) toast. Actually, its neither french toast nor are they french fries. That is butter cut so expertly that it looks like a crinkle cut fry on a piece of toast.

But sometimes when you live outside your own culture you get things you'd never expect, then you get used to it. A couple of weeks ago on the show Bizarre Foods the guy was eating fish head curry and Hudson said, "Fish head curry? That is not a weird food."